The one great love

I never was a truly religious person, or very good at basketball. There was never a definitive dedication in my life, a compass to surrender to. The only thing I always felt was true was the idea that love is what makes it all come together. No matter how young and naive I feel looking back at so many of my foolish expectations, the core of this goal in life has remained the same for me.

Despite the opinions of many, the desire for this one great love isn’t about being saved. As a matter of fact, it’s not about being completed, let alone or even settling down. It’s the wish to experience all that’s possible in this life, master the challenges of being understood for who you truly are, and eventually end up kissing in the rain.

At least that’s what I hope it is about.

To believe in true love today is not knowing what to believe in, but more trusting yourself enough to know what it’s not about. And that, dear reader, is something I and many romantics in their twenties know a lot about. So while I am still on the search for what it is I somehow keep the strength to believe in, this is a mosaic of what the true love we all so desperately seek out is not.

‘Loving someone more than myself, and for that losing myself.’

When infatuation meets a person willing to do everything for what they believe could be love, and it strikes someone willing to take everything

‘I hesitated when she asked me if I love her.’

If you can’t trust yourself enough to give an honest answer.

‘When I got more scared of losing the person than being happy. Once the trust and safety were gone, every decision the person made became irrelevant.’

Nothing is worse and at the same time more freeing than detachment and indifference.

‘The moment I started thinking about someone else.’

Sometimes you just can’t help it.

‘I felt that my feelings were being used. I was so caught up by my feelings I thought it was love, but it was a dependency I was somehow forced into.’

When your mind tricks you, it’s always best to trust your gut.

‘I realised everything before wasn’t true love once I felt it.’

When you know, you know.

‘The emotional attachment to a third person was happening right in front of me.’

Betrayal in its worst form, because no one can control what they’re feeling.

In the end, there is nothing to prevent us from the realisation that this isn’t what we hoped for. The truest kind of devotion remains in the persistent pursuit of love, with all evidence, trauma and fear of the contrary.